A Sprinkle of Kindness Can Go A Long Way

Perhaps it’s just the way I was raised – perhaps it is my faith in God – or perhaps it’s the confidence I have in myself that has me trying to live by the Golden Rule. You know, treating others as I would like to be treated. It seems like such an easy concept. I remember when I was first introduced to the phrase – it made absolute sense to me. But I’m amazed by the people who fail in this aspect of their lives.

I say that perhaps it is my own confidence because I don’t feel that I will lose anything – or nothing will be taken from me if I treat others with kindness and in a manner of respect. I have been witness, as well as the recipient of the mentality of do unto others before they do unto you. My experience with these people and my observation of them is they manage a strong front but underneath the façade, they are afraid that they will be taken advantage of in any given situation.

My answer or my philosophy to that issue – because people do take advantage – however, if we were all living by the Golden Rule – then we would all be conscientious of taking one another for granted. Although, I am no saint – and I become absentminded and may take someone for granted.  Although, I do try to stay vigilant in treating others with the respect I feel they deserve and apologize when I find that I have failed in living the Golden Rule.

When you “get” others before they “get” you, then you stifle their ability to perform and do their best. We are all human and we make human mistakes. No one is exempt from this. What we don’t realize is that when we don’t allow for human error, we bring condemnation down upon ourselves, because how can we be forgiven our human error, when we cannot allow for the error of others.

I’ve heard it said – Don’t judge others because they sin differently than you. We all walk our own path in life and I can’t judge you because you’ve made a different decision than I have. I have not walked in your shoes – I don’t know your pain or your tolerance, therefore, I treat you as I would want someone to treat me if I were to make a decision or act in a way that goes in an adverse direction from what other’s feel is acceptable.

I live by my values and my standards, but I don’t expect for you to live by them. I simply expect for you to respect them, as I respect yours. Giving other’s the benefit of the doubt and allowing them to be who they are would make the world a softer place to live. Hearts are hardened and so many people are so cynical that it makes me sad. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am no Pollyanna, in that I feel that the world is a sunshiny place to live, however, if we all treated one another with a little more kindness, I do believe in a better world.2c1f04d076e07e4d3029677ce34c407d

I hope you will conscientiously hold the door open for someone today. I hope that when that person doesn’t let you into traffic that instead of cursing them, you say a prayer for them because they must be trying to work through a million troubles while sitting in traffic and they simply don’t see you.  When someone makes a different decision than you would, please remember that you are not in their day-to-day life and you don’t know what influences they are under to lead them to make the decision they make. Have compassion instead of condemnation. Love one another as you would like to be loved…it’s as simple as that folks. I hope you can see your way to do that today.

Have a blessed day –

Yours truly, Ann

The Passions of Life

I swear to you – I still don’t know what I wanna be when I grow up….do you? I admire those people who have gone to school when they were 18 years old, were trained in a certain area of life and they continue to work in that same field, and are seemingly happy. I have spurts of ambition that come from – I don’t know where – and go in directions that I can’t seem to tame. My problem is that I am interested in just about everything! I have a difficult time honing into just one area. I have done so many different things in my life – and I have enjoyed each one of them in some degree and I cannot seem to whittle down one course of life for me to focus upon in which to exceed!

At this junction in my life, I am working in the finance field. Financial planning and I love it, but I knew that I would – just like everything else in my life! I want to learn all that I can as an assistant, and then make the switch to becoming certified as a planner! The best part is that we can put our money with the firm and I’ll be able to keep a close eye on it and watch it – hopefully – grow. But in addition, I can see the value of diversification and growing our money in different areas, such as mutual funds and annuities!  I am easily developing a zeal for finance and insurance!

I am still passionate about my writing. As soon as we get settled into a house, I plan on getting busy with my book, once again. I’m writing a book about a woman who has lost her husband in a sudden accident, and how she moves on with three adult children who have the tendency to care for her as though she is the child and not the adult. I’m anxious to get back to it and get it finished!

There is so much out in the world today that is exciting and full of promise, it’s difficult at times to narrow down exactly where your passion lies. I am passionate about my writing, but I’ve come to realize that I am passionate about anything that helps me to grow and learn and broaden my insight into the world around me.


Learning about other people is a huge passion for me. I enjoy discovering their desires and yearnings for life. What makes you tick? What makes your blood rise with excitement? I would love some feedback and some stories on your passion and how you incorporate it into your life on a consistent basis. Tell me what holds you back and present speed bumps to the fulfillment of your passions. How have you overcome the blips on the map to living your dreams? Let me hear from you and perhaps together we can grow and learn from one another!

Thanks for popping in and reading! Let me hear from you – it’s the only way I’m going to get better at what I do!  😉

Blessings for your day –
Yours truly,

Life As We Know It

The funny thing about life is that it can change all of a sudden. Four months ago, I was blogging on a regular basis and going to work in a dental office and living life without much thought. Then – all of a sudden – my husband’s job was downsized and he was going to be out of a job in a matter of weeks!

Without getting lost in that thought, we decided to take the opportunity and make the move back to our hometown of Owensboro. This is something that I’ve wanted to do for a long long time! So, without dwelling too much, we began searching for jobs and sending out resumes! We put the house on the market and began making living arrangements in Owensboro.

Here we are four months later, both of us working jobs that we find most satisfactory, our house is still on the market and we’re living with family and friends! We are hoping every day that our house will sell. We are getting closer; we just know it! We had an offer in on a house, but personally, I think the man who lives there decided that he didn’t want to go through the hassle of moving, and made it too difficult for us to stay in the deal with him; so we walked away. We have found another house that will suit our needs just as well, and we’re excited to be putting in an offer this week! Yay!

I love being back in Owensboro! I am at such peace being back home again. But I have to admit that I am amazed that, in a few short months, life as we knew it no longer exists and we’re headed in a brand new direction! We had no idea that we would be here so soon! We have left good friends there in Lexington and it’s difficult to have left so quickly. I feel very blessed to have been able to find jobs as soon as we did. Our savings account was just about depleted, and it will take the sale of our house to replenish our emergency fund!
Thank goodness we had an emergency fund. What would we have done, otherwise? We had a house payment and two car payments we’ve been able to keep current on, as well as our other month to month bills. We had about $10,000 in our savings that we have been able to rely upon during this transition time. I don’t know what we would’ve done otherwise. So – the moral to this story is that if you don’t have an emergency fund of at least $10,000, then do whatever it takes to build one. For years we did not have a good savings, and gratefully, we never needed it like this. Life happens all at once, and if you’re not prepared for it, you could get lost in a financial quagmire of debt!

I am excited about life now, and looking to the possibilities of the future! Life, as you know it, can change quickly – and now that I’m in my happy place again – I say – Bring It ON!

Be Blessed Today – and start your emergency fund NOW!
Yours truly,

Before the Pearly Gates….

Have you ever heard anyone speak of what may happen after they die?  You know – they’ll say something like “When I get before the Pearly Gates…..”!  Do you ever wonder what you’ll be doing as you stand before the Pearly Gates?  Does it ever cross your mind?

I wonder how long I’ll have to stand there before St. Peter comes along to look for my name in the Book of Life.  I wonder if there will be a bench out there to rest while I have to wait for them to be ready for me….

I have pondered this and have come to my own conclusion as to what takes place in my span of time waiting for St. Peter…and here’s my scenario…….

I think there IS a bench, and I’ll be inclined to sit and wait.  While I wait, gradually, like a 3D movie, my life begins to play out around me.

Suddenly, I begin to see people from the recesses of my life.  I see all of the people who touched my life in some way.  I, also, am able to see all of the lives that I was privileged enough to touch.   In addition, I think I’ll be able to see all of the missed opportunities to be an inspiration for others.

I believe that all the times that I’ve promised to pray for someone, but completely forgot the promise, will come back to nag at me while I’m sitting upon that bench.  Then right after that, I’ll be given the gift of seeing the result of every prayer I’ve ever prayed and the ripple effect it may have caused.

All of my sins will be played out right in front of me and I will feel the hurt in my heart as I watch myself being less than a stellar Christian.  When the pain of my betrayal becomes almost too much for me to manage while I am perched on that bench, the film will take a turn and like a warm, healing salve, I will be given the gift of how forgiveness was given to others by me.  I will see the release of the harsh reality of harboring resentment, bitterness and hatred.

While I sit there watching the stark contrast between my transgressions and my forgiveness, the ache in my soul becomes a plea that I, too, could receive the gift of being relieved of my sinful burdens.  When the weight of my sadness begins to burn the air from my lungs, a new dawn appears on the film of my life, and a warm breeze of lavender and honeysuckle flushes over me and I begin to feel lighter, but not all at once.  It begins with my feet and I sense God’s mercy creep slowly through my body, until all but my heart and soul have been relieved…..until……I realize that the burning in my soul has now become a flame of love and longing for the joy and completeness that only God can provide.

I imagine, at that point, my life movie comes to a slow end, and I will, once again, find myself outside the Pearly Gates.  However, I am no longer sitting on that bench, but I am on my knees, awaiting forgiveness with my admission.  Time has fallen away.  All that matters is returning to my creator and the joy of all the desires of my heart being fulfilled the minute I am given the nod from His loving eyes.  And I wait with a burning love that can only be a heavenly love….until finally, I hear the Angels singing and the Gates begin opening….

This is my image of what happens after I breathe my last breath.  The scene of my life flash as I await the Great I Am.  I hope this is the way it happens…or something similar.

What are your ideas of the moments after your death?  I would love to know your thoughts on what happens when you arrive at the Pearly Gates!  Please leave me your comments!  🙂

May You Be Blessed Today!



4 Tips to Boost Your Marriage!

I fell this morning while on my walk/run.  I was slowing down from my run to begin walking, when all of a sudden, the sidewalk jumped up and stopped my toe, dead in its tracks, which sent me sprawling to the ground.  I hit the ground and rolled over onto my back – looking up at the stars in the early morning sky, I assured myself that I had, in fact, lived this stupid dream.

 My husband helped me up with a nonchalant, “You ok?”  After murmuring my affirmation that I wasn’t dead or anything, we set off on the rest of our walk.  I must admit to being a little sore that he wasn’t just a little more concerned about me than that.  Expectations, ya know. It is expectations that get us in trouble.  I expected more from him; I didn’t receive it, and my feelings were hurt.  What was I thinking?

 Don’t get me wrong – I am not talking about my husband’s lack of caring, because he does care.  I’m talking about my expectations that led to becoming disgruntled.  Marriage is difficult and we make it harder on ourselves with expectations of the other person that go unfulfilled, which leads to disappointment and hurt. Marriage calls for heroic perseverance if you wish to remain together.  Although, it’s not rocket science, it can take you to the outer limits, if you work at it as if it is rocket science!

 A friend of mine asked me one time if I could accept my husband as he was without wishing for him to change.  That caused me to ponder.  It’s a difficult question, because I want him to grow and become a better version of himself.  So, I have a hard time believing that I totally accept him if he remained the same.  I guess that sounds kind of bad, but I want more for him. I would want him to want the same for me.


 I believe that one of the keys to marriage is not having the right partner, but being the right partner!

  • MAKE YOURSELF LOVEABLE – That means be kind to your spouse.  Lift up your spouse and put them on that pedestal.  If both parties could do that for one another, then they would both have the understanding that no one could treat them any better.  Pay attention to what the other one might want from you, and give that to them.  It might take a little imagination, but it’ll be worth it! 😉
  • DON’T TAKE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR GRANTED – We all fall into routines and become content with one another.  However, if we begin feeling as though our spouse has nowhere to go, besides with us, then we stop trying so hard and begin taking the relationship for granted.  No one wants to be taken for granted.
  • TREAT YOUR SPOUSE AS YOU WISH TO BE TREATED – This does not mean – treat your spouse nicely so that you’ll be treated nicely.  If the two of you are making the effort to treat one another as you would like to be treated, then how would you not get along with one another with consistency?  Give without counting costs nor the paybacks, and you are sure to have a satisfying marriage.
  • STOP THE UNFAIR EXPECTATIONS – Expectations, when go unfulfilled, will cause disappointment.  Expectations that go fulfilled are bonuses, but are easily forgotten in light of one unfulfilled expectation.

 Couples are giving up too easily and divorce lawyers are busier than ever.  My husband and I have been married almost 30 years, over half of my life!  Some years were good; some were better and yet others…..not so great.  But I’m an eternal optimist and I always believe that the best years are yet to come! 🙂


Why DO You DO That?

Is your spouse the kind that can walk into the house after you’ve just cleaned from top to bottom and point out the one thing that is out of place?  Or do you have a child that you need a cattle prod to get him moving?  How about a moody, gloomy, suck the life out of the room sister; or a cheerleader that is always bouncing off the walls?

Well, I promise, these people you know, or are related to, are not that way just to drive you crazy!  This is simply the way they were hard-wired.  We were all born with a prominent temperament and often we have a secondary temperament thrown in there for confusion’s sake.

There are four temperaments:

THE CHOLERIC:  Detail oriented, an all business, go-getter, get it done kind of person.

THE SANGUINE:  Very excitable, life of the party, and at times can be a bit flighty headed.

THE MELANCHOLIC:  Also detail oriented, perfectionist to a fault.  Holds onto past transgressions against him, quick to point out the negative and how the rules are not being followed.

THE PHLEGMATIC:  Easy going, laid back, head in the clouds, but a very peaceful human being.

The way to determine which temperament you are is to understand your reactions to situations.

When being pulled over and receiving a ticket for speeding:

THE CHOLERIC will ask for  the facts and argue his way out of the ticket before the police officer even realizes he’s done it.

THE SANGUINE will compliment the officer and try to find a connection to his name.  When given the ticket, she is liable to thank him and gush a little that he gave her a prize!

THE MELANCHOLIC will ask for all the details of what speed was posted and exactly where the sign is posted.  They are then likely to ask the exact speed at which they were clocked, while taking notes.  They would then worry about it and talk about it for months.

THE PHLEGMATIC will take the ticket and not realize exactly why he received it.  He will then put it in the glove compartment and is likely to forget it all together until he gets a notice from the court.

How many people did you think about while reading these reactions?  We all know people that fall into these categories!

When there is a combination of temperaments, they are typically the variations of choleric/melancholic and the sanguine/phlegmatic. 

  • The choleric/melancholic is the entrepreneur that worries constantly because the melancholic in him is  fearful of stretching himself.  Unless he is a melancholic/choleric, then he is usually an engineer or mathematician.  He worries about everything, but he makes a good living.
  • The sanguine/phlegmatic is excited for the plans that she’s made but is secretly hoping they get cancelled so she can just stay home.  The phlegmatic/sanguine is great for last minute parties and is easy to entertain others in her home, but she would have likely forgotten to pick up the key ingredients for the dish she was going to serve.

The rare and one of the most powerful combination is the choleric/sanguine or the sanguine/choleric.   They are quick to volunteer and they don’t feel badly about delegating tasks to the melancholic.

The melancholic/phlegmatic or phlegmatic/melancholic will get any job done and it will be done with detail, but the melancholic will worry over the details and the phlegmatic will just desire to have the whole thing behind her so she can go home.

Do you see yourself or a loved one in any of these descriptions?  Once you’ve realized which temperament a person is, communication becomes an easier feat because you know how to tailor a conversation to have them react favorably to your objective.  Do you have a story about a particular temperament that you could share? 

Thank you for reading!  Please leave a comment; I would love to know what you think!



Why is Perfect Always Out of Reach?

My husband and I did a stupid thing this weekend. We went to look at a house that we have no chance in hades to be able to afford. Although, we had no idea before looking at it that it would be that much.  However, the property was P-E-R-F-E-C-T – PERFECT!!

Well, by perfect, I mean that I fell in love with it; and it didn’t matter that the windows need to be replaced and that the front door didn’t seal very well. I didn’t notice that I would have half the cabinets than I have in my house now. All I noticed was that it was all on one level. It had a formal dining room, along with an eat in kitchen. It also had a formal living room and a sunroom in the back, and a killer shower in the master bath!  I’m telling you, it was perfect.

However, the tag attached to it was well over $300,000 and way out of our price range. The ads on this website aren’t doing THAT well!  😉

Why do we do this to ourselves? You know, put ourselves in a position to want something we’ve got no way of being able to obtain.  I guess not everyone does it, but I feel like there is a great many that do.

I think there are a couple of reasons that we place ourselves in a situation to spur on frustration….

We are ready for a change.
Our lives have reached a point that we need something new, but we’re not sure we can put our finger on it. We are willing to see if we could wish our way out of current frustrations by giving ourselves something so out of reach that magically our present situation will somehow feel better to us.  Seriously, what kind of thinking is that?!

We need a dream.
When we don’t have something that we are working toward then our lives become stagnate and we don’t feel our purpose. When our ambition grows stale it sure makes it difficult to get up and turn off the alarm on Monday morning.

I think by looking at something completely out of reach, it triggers the dream factor in our ‘psychy’ to be so turned on by what we can not attain, that we begin searching for that dream that can be obtained.

Setting goals is a way to keep us working and moving forward with some type of excited anticipation.  The thing is, we should all enjoy the journey – just be certain that we have a destination that requires a journey worth enjoying!  And try to stay within your price range….  😉

6 Ways Art Imitates Life

Years ago, I bought a pretty nice camera, but never did learn to use it very well.  Apparently, the thief that broke into my house either knew how to use it – or could find someone who could use it!  Regardless, I bought another camera with the insurance money in hopes that I would get the hang of it.  It is a Cannon Power Shot.  However, again, sadly, this camera has been in a drawer right after it was purchased.  I have even bought a smaller Cannon that was not as bulky.   Since acquiring Smartphones, these cameras have been pushed aside for the convenience of the camera phone!
We had an event in the family over the Labor Day Weekend, so I decided to give photography another shot!  Pun intended!  I retrieved both of my cameras from their resting places to take with us.  I thought it would be a good opportunity to see what I could do with them.  Hence, I set about snapping the lens!
I may not have a talent there, but I can learn and I did get some really good photos.  If only I could learn to share them with the family in the cloud…ugh!                100_0747
Getting home from our trip, I went about loading up the photos, which went well.  And as I was editing them, it all became clear to me.  Life is much like photography…..as we go through life we make our mistakes and they show through the negatives, but allowed to develop and edit, we can make all things new!
  1. Interesting things can be done with lighting.  Instead of letting the light shine upon the negative on the photo, we dim the lighting and heighten the color on the positive!  Once we see the negative in our own lives, if we dim the light on those, and leave them in the dark, oftentimes, the positives will brighten on their own in our perspective!
  2. There will always be slight imperfections in the subjects of our photos, as with our own lives.  The key is catching the faults and doing the touch-up work required to fix them!  Before you know it, those flaws can all be part of the past!
  3. The evil red look in one’s eyes can be moved to light when given the proper attention and the time to devote to it.  Sometimes the picture is perfect, except for the look in the eye.  They say that the eye is the window to the soul…..hmmm….perhaps there is pain, hurt, or heartache.  With loving attention, that look can be swept away to brighter sights!
  4. When all of the unnecessary scenery is cropped away, the viewer can then focus on what is really important.  Often, that is the same way with our lives!
  5. When a splash of color is enhanced then the positive qualities can become almost 3D!  It is in the magnetizing of the color that the bland and the dismal begins to shrink from view!
  6. Every once in a while, you can change the background, bringing forth a sparkle in the eye in a way that the same old scenery just can’t obtain.  We all need a change of scenery from time to time!
I might never be a master picture taker, however, I can concentrate on becoming an excellent editor.  If I can do that in life, as well as my photographs, then for what more could I ask?!



Have You Ever Dreamed of Something Different?

Have you ever had a place have a hold on your heart like no other place in the world? No matter where I go, I always return to the city I love most in the world, Owensboro, Kentucky. It’s a big, little town and it’s just the right size for me. It just recently handed the title of 3rd largest city in Kentucky over to Bowling Green. However, I don’t think it’ll be a title that Bowling Green will hold for long.

Owensboro is a beautiful city and they are always improving. It is built along side the Ohio River in Western Kentucky. Originally called Yellow Banks, founded by William Smeathers around 1790. It later became Owensborough in honor of Col. Abraham Owen, then shortened to Owensboro.

One claim to fame Owensboro sports is being considered the Barbecue Capital of the World. Visitors from all over the world have dropped in to try the barbecue. President’s have stopped on the trail to indulge in the hickory smoked pork, mutton and chicken! Makes my mouth begin to water just thinking about it. On any given Saturday during the summer, the air is filled with church picnics ‘sopping’ the roasting meat with the traditional barbecue sauce of the recipe passed down from generation to generation.

The second weekend in May, every year, the city opens up a competition for the best church barbecue of pork, mutton, chicken and burgoo. All of the Catholic Churches in the area set up their pits in the streets of downtown, and the fires are lit. Judging takes place about 4:00 – 6:00 on Saturday night, but get there early because when they start selling, the lines can get pretty long! Oh – just fyi – for those who might not know – mutton is baby lamb and whether it’s chopped or sliced, as long as it’s barbecued it’s delicious!

The riverfront is an attraction that is gaining popularity. Three open air venues next to the river brings forth music of all different types. This doesn’t include the auditoriums that are within the walls of the Riverpark Center. Built right on the riverbank gives a view when the sun is going down that is as picturesque as a Norman Rockwell painting! Friday night will find kids running around the playgrounds, older folks walking hand in hand, sitting on the many swings looking out to the river, or young adults listening to music and mingling. With the kettle corn being swirled and the DOTS ice cream being scooped, it has a feel that can be likened to Mayberry! Warms my heart thinking about the community enjoying what the city has provided.

Sprinkled throughout the city are the sports parks for your choice of softball, baseball, soccer, along with the Sportcenter for basketball and the Ice Rink for that first date! Hiking trails and biking trails are easy to come by at Ben Hawes, along with the soap box derby track where they host a soap box derby once a year.

There are festivals year around, mainly focusing on the music that surrounds the area. From the Bluegrass Festival to the Owensboro Symphony, you have plenty from which to choose! I can’t forget to mention the Owensboro Museum of Fine Arts. Beautiful displays of historical and modern art fill the halls!

Clearly, I could go on and on with the accolades of what Owensboro has to offer, whether you’re a visitor or a resident. I am most proud of the riverfront. It’s not only beautiful, it is state of the art. However, it doesn’t matter if you’re driving down through the Azalea Trail, down by the river or out to the country, the air has the power to heal what ails ya.

I hope that you have a place that holds your heart like Owensboro has mine. People have commented about not knowing anyone that loves a place as much as I do. I can’t help it……. I do LOVE my hometown!


Overcoming those Wintertime Blues!

With the autumn months approaching, I find my mood begin to follow the weather and become a little bleak and dreary.  It begins around October/November and can stretch to February/March.  It is referred to as SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Many people suffer from this disorder, but it affects more women than men.  

As the time changes, days are dark when I’m going to work and dark when getting off from work, and I begin to feel almost hopeless.  As my mother would say, I begin feeling ‘blue’.  It is during these months, as the weather starts to turn colder, that we should take special care of ourselves.

The months of November and December are busier months and I can distract myself with the business of getting prepared for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Given that knowledge, I try to plan something to look forward to during the months of October and late or mid-February.  Distracting myself with a party or a trip helps keep my mind off the immediate feelings of despair and helplessness.

It’s important for me to make sure I get out and enjoy the sunshine!  If it’s bright out, even when cold, I turn my face to the sun.  It warms me and I experience hope!

Some women that I have talked with use a light therapy box.  This is a box that holds special lights that mimic the warm rays that we feel from the sun, hence, giving us that feeling of having our mood lifted.  They will sit in front of this box for fifteen minutes a day, but it is enough time to lift their spirits.

There is also medication, as well as, talk therapy.  I, personally, find it helpful to have someone to which I can talk and share some anxiety I might be having as a result of the weather and the time of year.  

It’s a good time to check your vitamin intake!  Through the summer months, we are so busy and outdoors, eating good fresh vegetables, but as the weather becomes colder, we are more likely to eat more of the ‘comfort foods’.  These foods can leave us feeling laden down and kind of depressed, as well.  Be vigilant to eat well and take a look at the vitamins in your medicine cabinet.  Make sure you’re taking some D3, to protect you and keep your immune system strong, as well as some B12, to help you from feeling tired and weighed down!

This is a really good time of year to give to others!  When we focus on others, then we forget about ourselves and the woe’s we might be feeling.

The last thing that I try to do, and my last suggestion, is be sure you have a few good books to read!  You can go to warm places, sunny places, exotic places and all over the world with many different people when you read.  You can worry about someone else’s problems, even if they’re fictional, rather than your own worries.

As we approach September, and the weather becomes cooler, if you find yourself becoming ‘blue’, try something new and pretty soon, before you know it, we’ll be finding Spring just around the corner!   

Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think!  Until next time, don’t just count YOUR blessings ……BE a blessing to others!  😉