“SOLD” the sign boasts – displayed in the front yard of our Lexington home. Emotions are stirring.
For over twenty-five years, I have been wanting to make this move – back to our hometown, however, now that it’s here and becoming a reality – I find that my heart is breaking a little.
The dogwoods will be blooming soon after we leave and the new people take possession. Our Mary Statue will no longer be greeting the Clay’s Mill traffic. This house, this address, this location will no longer be our home – we won’t be welcomed to walk in as though it were ours for the last 20 plus years. We shall be saying goodbye – not only to that house, but to Mary Queen of the Holy Rosary, to Chili’s on Man O’War, to friends we love so much – to Lexington. WOW….it’s a little overwhelming.
I’ve been living now in Owensboro for the last four months, working and living with family and friends. I am quite excited about our new house and settling down, however, knowing that as I write this, there is a U-haul truck sitting in my driveway awaiting the contents of my house, and when I walk into it this evening, it will be all but barren, leaves me with a heartbreak that has caught me off guard.
This is the home that raised our four children. This is where they fought, bled, laughed and loved. From skinned knees to skinned hearts, that home has been witness to it all. The memories are not packed in the many boxes that lay strewn through the house, but rather packed in our hearts. I know this, and I tell myself this, never the less, my heart breaks at the finality of it. No more Thanksgivings or Christmases in that kitchen playing Hawaiian Rummy or dominoes, but rather in the new house – in the dining room. HA – I’ve never had a dining room before!
This new home won’t be the home belonging to my children. It will belong to their father and me. It’ll be our home. The familiarity that they have with the house in Lexington will not carry over with the furniture and the boxes. Although, what will carry over is the laughter that we will share and good feelings that will be created in the new house. The new arrivals of loves and lives – we pray! A new house to host the growth and changes that we have in store for us in our lives.
We started this journey knowing what the outcome would be for us. The end of one chapter and the beginning of another chapter. As we come down to the final hours of it all, I shouldn’t be surprised by my emotion, but regardless, I am surprised. I will allow myself the indulgence to cry it out, because I know when we put our key into the door of our new home, I won’t be crying that day. I’ll be walking through the door of anticipation at all the beautiful new memories to be made and shared within those walls.
Life is full of love and heartbreak. I would like to think that the little breaks in our heart, with the array of colorful images, eventually, will make a beautiful mosaic heart in which to offer our Creator at the end of our life. This transition from one home to another has given dimension to my heart in a way that it didn’t have six months ago. I wonder what the next six months will have in store for my heart…. I am hopeful! 🙂
May your day be blessed, thank you for reading,