It is my conclusion that there are two types of people in the world. There are givers and there are takers. Now this does not mean that the giver never takes or that the taker never gives. It simply means that the tendency is stronger in one of the two areas. Of course, they have a propensity to gravitate to one another. Obviously, this makes it easier for their natures to live comfortably.
Conflicts arise when the taker fails to give anything and the giver gives it all away, until there is nothing left. The giver begins to breakdown, emotionally, mentally and oftentimes, physically. This is because they can’t even give themselves the attention to take care of their own bodies.
It is prudent for the one that gives in the relationship to keep enough in the tank to continue to uphold the balance.
Here are some suggestions to be mindful of in maintaining a healthy flow of energy.
- Are you spending enough time with another giver?
We all know who they are – and we need to have like hearted people in our lives. If you can not connect with another giver, enlist the help of a therapist. There is no shame in paying for someone to listen to you, encourage you when you need it, and offer alternatives to actions that can set the course of disruption in your relationship with the taker.
For some it might be an afternoon alone in a bookstore. For someone else, you may need to find a project or hobby that you can look forward to completing. You may need to find a silent retreat at a nearby retreat house where you can get quiet enough to finally hear your inner voice.
- Have you spent enough time alone to really know yourself and what you need?
This one can be a little tricky if you are in a committed marriage. You can’t just take a year hiatus from your life together. Who can afford that? If you can’t take little snippets of alone time to do this, then, again, paying a therapist to talk it out can help tremendously. They have a unique view-point that can help you see what you’ve not been able to see previously.
- Are you caring for yourself external self?
Sometimes just getting a new hairstyle can do wonders for your “love tank”. Maybe starting a new workout routine or try a new color of lipstick! You just can’t forget to love yourself and that includes giving to yourself on the outside too!
So, these are a few things that I keep in mind when I find my “love tank” is running low. I also find it helpful to have something for which to hope. If I’ve got something to look forward to, I am always stretching myself until that event can be reached. Then I am, once again, fed and able to give to others.
What are some ways you keep the balance in your relationship when it comes to the give and the take? I’d love to know what works best for you!
Have a Blessed Day! 🙂